Friday's Letters

Dear Readers, It's been a while.  I swear I say that EVERY TIME.  But hey ho, thanks for sticking around. I love you :-)

Dear Jayde, your letter is so very nearly on it's way, I was going to just stick a first class stamp on it but I am so paranoid it won't get to you as it isn't enough postage.  They measure how fat envelopes are these days, next time i'll make sure I put my paper on a diet.  The simple solution would be to just go to the post office and get it measured, however, I REFUSE to do this now as when I worked in Human Resources I was in the post office quite a lot, well, every day so the staff got used to me. On two occasions since I left the job the woman in there has told me how much weight I have put on.  HORRIFYING, I actually wanted to cry, she did it twice too! TWICE!!!!! Turns out it's not just how fat the envelopes are that's important now...

Dear Holiday, Last time I wrote to you I said, 'I wish I was still going on you.  This is the third holiday in a row I have looked forward to and had to cancel, CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE!' I am now saying that I should have been on you now but I am very happy that I am not, well, I say very happy, it would have been nice, no one ever would rather sit in rainy England over somewhere exotic but I am glad I didn't go so everyone with ulterior motives can pipe down and concentrate on their own little lives.

Dear Karma, Oh baby how I love you!

Dear Weekend, I must be the only person in the world that doesn't ever look forward to you but this weekend I am :-) BANK HOLIDAY and I am going away, woo!

Dear 24th Birthday, I know you're 5 months away but I am booking you today! EXCITED! the last two years have taught me you have to plan ahead or you just end up sitting at home watching TV with a take away, you only have 1 birthday a year and I don't see why mine has to suck every time so neurgh! people can't say no with 5 months notice :-D (not that my birthday ever has sporadically chronologically changed)


x

xxxx

Listen to your heart

I feel like a broken record.  Every post I do on here seems to be an apology for not posting for ages.

I have been going through a hell of a lot and the last few months really has made me realise who my real friends are.  Another cliche comment but so, so true.

I won't go into exactly what's been going on as 1. you do not want to read/listen to me moan. 2. It is far too complicated and as much as it helps for me to write about things as a form of release, people can be nasty and I know that it probably won't reach all of the right people and the people that have taken the time to know everything already don't need to know again... ANDDDDD BREATHE.

I hope that made sense, words are coming out of my brain and being typed into this blogger page at a million miles an hour and if I can't make sense of it in my head, God forbid you find it easy to take on board from this post...  

I am trying to be more positive in life but it is hard.  It is a hell of a lot easier to shoot down the people making your life difficult in retaliation to their cruel behaviour.  Especially when you seem to be the only person bothering to be nice and making the effort.

I am also going through a battle in my head about ever sticking up for myself again.  When you don't stick up for yourself you get told, 'They only do it because you're a push over and let them,' but when you do stand up for yourself you get 'It's because you react,'.  Either way people are still nasty and still get away with it.  Either way I am still hurting, either way the nasty ones still seem to come out on top...

I hope that in time, I can just smile and bless the people that make me feel like this!

I am not going to bore you with much more as I can't seem to come up with much more to write about which is probably because I am tired and verrrrrry hungry, this Gluten free diet is killing me! Literally... I crave all the food I can't eat and then I just hit a point where I stuff my face with it then face the consequences... whoops!  Add my dislocating limbs and the fact I cannot get a job and blah!

oh happy days :-)

x