My strange phobias

♥ A ringing telephone as well as telephone conversations, You can't see the person you're talking to and that makes me feel soooooo awkward.  After being '1st point of contact' in a job I had for a year in Human Resources I am very, very good at multi tasking. i.e typing with my toes, finding documents with my left hand, writing official letters with my right whilst nattering away on the phone and all the rest of my other job specs at the same time, It takes it out of you, for real! I literally cringe even when my house phone rings, I hate it.

♥ Gristle in meat, arghhhh, I like to enjoy food not gag on it!

♥ Veins and blood tests as the needle goes directly into the vein... OMG.  The last blood test I went for actually reduced me to tears, where I go you take a ticket and wait for your number to be called.  They call about 8 people in at a time, so my number came up, I dragged myself through the doors all clammy, sweaty and shaky and I place myself on the waiting room chairs.  They shout 'NEXT!' and I automatically stand up and begin to walk as I really just want to get it over with as much as I don't want it done at all, then some old man starts shouting at me 'YOU YOUNG KIDS TAKE THE P*SS, I AM FIRST, HOW DARE YOU PUSH IN FRONT OF ME!' erm, what? I burst into tears, turns out I had ticket 65 and he was 66 so I wasn't in the wrong but hey ho lol.  I totally wanted to push in front of him anyway because I love a good blood test, I do!

♥ Being alone, I hate it, which is weird because I used to love it :/ I don't know what the turning point was, I used to be quite happy to talk to myself blah blah (only child) but now I just hate the quietness and have to have background noise of some sort or I get in a panic!

♥ Spiders, not so weird but if you knew the story behind why I am scared of them... Think Summer holiday in Cyprus, dodgy hotel, broken window and an African bird eating spider visiting my bedroom when I was just 5 years old :-)

♥ Not being able to sleep, I hate it, it's horrible.  It's got to be one of the most frustrating things ever as a good nights sleep helps all of your problems a lot.  Ironically I just thought to myself the thought of not being able to sleep actually keeps me awake at night... oh I am so blonde...

♥ Not knowing what is going to happen, I even read spoilers for books, I don't know why I just hate not knowing.... maybe it's a combination of always being the last to find out important information because I am the youngest in my family and just being paranoid? 

♥ Chewing gum, don't ask as why as this is what I want to ask you?!! ever since I had braces I have had nightmares that I can't get all the gum out of my mouth or my tongue swells up so much that I can't speak, or my teeth grow to big for my mouth! ahhhhh, WHY IS THIS?

♥ Dinosaurs :-( I always have nightmares about them, I don't even know why, maybe it's the whole Jurassic Park movie scene where he gets eaten while he's doing a poo! - In fact I remember my Dad taking me to the Natural History Museum and looking at all these kids sitting on the railings of the moving dinosaur exhibition thinking, ARE YOU MAD? YOU COULD GET EATEN!!! I was 15, lol joking, I was about 2 but I remember being generally scared.

♥ Aliens, even ET, he looks like a talking poo :-( and as for the new Argos advert, who even thought of that? obviously bang on the drugs...

Fridays Letters

Dear Chewee, You are starting to really, really smell please ask Nan to give you a wash? :p xx

Dear Doctor T, Thank you for putting me at ease at my appointment this week, I was getting in a right kerfuffle as per usual but as always you helped me calm down.  I am glad something is finally happening about my missing scan results as I really do believe the Doctor at the hospital lost them as his letter doesn't match what the person doing the scan said! xx

Dear Joey from EastEnders, why is your voice posh in real life? this disturbs me slightly, you are far too different in the soap... 

Dear Kelsea, Please do start your own blog, we can bond further over Nandos!

Dear Birthday, you're really, really close now but I want to stay young forever, please stay away a little bit longer? thank you :-)

Food and weight

Hey

So I have been racking my brains for ideas of blog posts I could do every week and have decided to trial a 'My week in food' idea.

The aim is to basically show you what my favourite meals of the week has been. Doesn't sound to fantastic but bear with me, keep reading ;)

I am not quite sure how this is going to work as my eating habits right now are terrible, I am a fast food junkie and am also really lazy, well no, I am not lazy with food, I will rephrase that, I just don't have the money or space to cook my own food.  Cooking is one of my biggest passions I LOVE experimenting in the kitchen but since moving back with my Mum I have grown back into her bad habits of ready meals lol (blaming my mum) My mum is very proud of her kitchen too so I don't really like to go in and make the slightest bit of mess, it doesn't end well trust me....

Obviously I don't spend all my time at my mums as at the weekend and I am at my boyfriends house, in regards to food round there if it's not something his mum has rustled up it's most probably a kebab from the local kebab house, terrible I know but ahh! One of my most popular posts from the past was one on my weight,  all my life until I hit about 20 I had the highest metabolism in the world, I ate like a pig but looked like I hadn't eaten for weeks.  Actually it was really funny the other day as Joe and I were looking at wedding photos from his Mum's wedding back in 2008, (I was 18) I look so ill but my lips were really big ha, ha think Mick Jagger meets Essex! I just had not grown into them lol. (Sorry getting side tracked... back to the post)  But yes, until I hit 20 I could eat anything then suddenly I started to put on weight, it was really quick and my mum panicked. 'Are you pregnant?' NO MUM! must have been asked and answered about a million times but I had got a little belly and I even had boobs, so it could have been a reason but it wasn't lol, My metabolism had just lost it's fight and I was amazed lol.  To be fair I didn't even get my first sign of cleavage until I was 15 years old and as excited as I was at the time I look back and crease up as it was more like pancakes over flapping, but hey! lol.

Where I am trying to get to without any more cringe worthy revelations of my past is that now I do have to battle with food and watch what I eat, It's hard work and I am almost 23 and still haven't got out of the habit of eating, eating, eating, It's a hard habit of a lifetime to break!

When I had my own flat I would cook every night, mainly because my boyfriend can't but I enjoyed it so, so much.  On days I was at work I would use the slow cooker, they are pretty amazing inventions don't you think?

If I do cook anything for myself I am sure to write down all the recipe, cooking prep with photos for you to read in my weekly post etc but no promises as this doesn't happen very often ;)

So yeah back to the post, I just thought food posts was a great idea as it is something I am passionate about and it is something I do every day soooo I'll always have something to show for it :)

I may do weigh ins too, I don't know what I want to achieve with this maybe I'll realise how much rubbish I eat and stop, maybe I won't lol.

I will end this post with a picture of my new favourite restaurant, we went there a few weeks ago for Joey's 23rd birthday, Dean's Diner in Braintree, Essex

I have been a total dope and deleted the photo of our food :( it is an American style diner, with all the typical diner food, everything minus the roller skates!

I am totally gutted I deleted the picture off my blackberry, all the food is served up in baskets and I cannot wait to go again, I had the hot dog with chilli, wet cheese and fries, mmmmmmmm MUNCH!

Here's a link to their website, there are a few branches plotted around [DEAN'S DINER]

Until next week, happy eating :)

x

Dear 17 year old Lulu

17 was a turn around age for me, the hardest year of my life so far,  it's been hard to write it all down and brings back some memories I haven't thought about for a really long time but in a way it's therapeutic...

Here goes!

Dear 17 year old Lulu,

You're in for a tough year, you're going to find out a lot about your self and get a lot of reality checks, you are going to realise a hell of a lot about your life.

You will be 5 months into VI form and it will not get easier.

A stranger will give you advice in the form of a question that will stick with you forever, 'Why do you associate yourself with people that you've known 10 years when they are happy to slag you off to people who they've known for 10 minutes?' - At first you'll be offended because you don't want to believe your 'friends'can do that to you just to pass time... but you'll open your eyes, take a step back and smell the coffee.  Friends don't do that, bitches do.

You will be 4/5 months into your first ever relationship, you're not particularly attracted to him and you look back now and think WHATTTT? but you had never had any type of male attention before as you are and still am an ugly duckling lol but you form a friendship and become boyfriend and girlfriend in time.  All rosy at first but he treats you like crap and it makes you feel awful about yourself but you feel trapped and have no escape and stay with him because he makes you feel like there is no one else that will ever want you.

You will cry in the shower and yourself to sleep but it does get better.  Not just yet though.

You realise you need to get out of this sour relationship but you haven't got the strength, he says sorry for all he does, you lap it up every time. UNTIL you have an asthma attack in the street and he leaves you... Your phone is dead and your left alone hoping someone walks past to help you, you really cannot move and are stuck on the pavement petrified and unable to breathe.  You see someone coming, you try to ask for help then realise it is someone you used to go to school with, She STEPS over you while you lay in the street, literally over you, she pretends not to see you.  This is the lowest you get at 17, as hard as it is, you get over it because you're strong.  A good Samaritan does find you and they call you an ambulance, you're going to be okay.

You get home from the hospital after your asthma attack and you know you need to move on, you need to find the happy you again and you do in time.  It's hard and there are more tears but you do start to smile again.

You wonder why the girl stepped over you, and your friend asks her why she did it, she says 'Oh I didn't realise she was in pain?' yeah love I just lay on the pavement half conscious for fun.  ANYWAY...

You meet a nice boy called Joey and you are with him for 5 years from when I am writing this, I cannot predict the future but you are happy right now at 22.  At first you're hesitant.  You don't want to get hurt again, you are visiting a councilor and feel like a total douche bag because you have been put on antidepressants but Joey accepts you for who you are and he breathes happiness back into cold places in your heart you never even realised where cold.  You feel alive again and you are eternally grateful to him for this.

Unfortunately VI form is still around and the ex boyfriend is still in your class.  Something happens and you just cannot go back to class again.  You get into an agreement with the VI form that you can finish your A Level's at home with frequent visits to see your teachers.  A lot of rumours go around about you and your mysterious departure but you don't care, you just want your grades and you continue to blossom into a more confident woman, not totally confident but a totally different, happy person that you should have always been.

You're 18th birthday is coming up and you organise a meal for you and your whole family as you've been so low lately and your family mean the world to you.  It is a great night and you will treasure it forever as turning 18 is a special moment.  This night becomes more than just an 18th birthday meal though as this is the last time all your family will eat together.  The following week you get some bad news, your Grandad passes away.  You miss him dearly and he was the only Grandad you had and you really do think about him every day but you celebrate his life and think of him in heaven watching his favourite tv programs.  You know he wouldn't want you to be sad.

You're 18 now, life isn't easy but you must, must, must make the most of life and not dwell on the pain it throws at you, you only live once so enjoy it!

x

Fridays letters

I came across a blog via my good friend @Ohnoitsbex's blog Futures called The Sweet Season, previously called Adventures of Newly weds, she has over 2k GFC and a really incredible blog.  She has this reoccurring blog post called Friday's letters and after seeing Bex doing hers I wanted to get in on the action!

Dear Physio Therapist, I haven't been to see you today because of the snow.  I know it's not much but if I fall over in this it's game over for me, all I need is a broken bone on top of a million and one already potential dislocations!  I had hoped this was my last session as in the 7 months I have been seeing you the pain isn't going away and I think something else needs to be tried as you suggested the last time I see you.  I would like to thank you though for strengthening me up, my hip hasn't given way nearly as much, although I am not ready to test this in slippery ice and snow!  When I rang up to cancel today your receptionist was really snotty and couldn't fit me in to another appointment for 7 WEEKS, I could have easily got narky with her and her attitude as it doesn't take much brain power to work out someone going to physio might not be able to walk as good as others but I didn't, I just silently bless the ignorant and stupid.  So Mrs Physio Therapist I guess you'll just have to miss me and hope I don't fall down the plug hole or get hit by a meteorite in that huge gap of 'no appointment' time... This isn't a good bye it's a, I'll see you soon-ish.

Dear Bex, thank you for helping me with my blog so much the last week or two.  I now have 9 GFC yay :) xx

Dear Jayde, thank you for offering me a night out via Skype for my birthday lol, I hope you have disco lights! Maybe you can do some of your crazy YouTube dancing xx

Dear Joey, my lovely boyfriend, please stop playing FarCry 3 without me? I feel really left out :( xx

Dear Cyndi, thank you for always reading my blog posts no matter how boring they are and for being there for me always! I know I go on a lot but you're always there so I'd like to take this opportunity to say thanks :-) xxx

Dear Georgia, Alfie and Harry, I haven't seen you since December and I really, really miss your gorgeous little faces. Never forget how much your Auntie Lulu loves you! ever! xxx

x

Prescription Prepayment Certificates (PPCs)

I know it's not the normal post but I thought I would do one on PPC's as last year it saved me so much money and I am so shocked that more people do not know about it!

The current price of a prescription, per item is £7.65.  I think this is kind of ridiculous especially if you were in a similar situation to which I was in last year, I was in an apprenticeship going to work all hours and only earning £100 per week but still expected to pay this ridiculous rate, for my asthma alone I get 3 different items per month and as much as it's nice to be able to breath, who needs to breathe when they can't afford to eat?

On average I would get 3 items for my asthma, 2 lots for the pain I am in, another to help me sleep,  2 more for stomach one of them being one that works alongside my pain killers and then finally my wonderful Citalopram.  This didn't even include my hay fever meds for the spring and summer.  So lets do some maths, 3 + 2 + 1 + 2 + 1 = 9 items in total, at a nice price of £68.85! (for winter anyway) err more than half of my wage for a week, lovely!

I moaned about it on twitter as you do ;) - someone who I cannot remember but I would like to thank over and over recommended it to me.  Turns out it only costs £104 for a years card and I am not the best at maths but I know that £68.85 x 12 is a lot more than £104...

With a 12 month card if you get 2 items a month you save £75 per year, I know it doesn't sound a lot but when you're getting 9 or more a month this really does make a difference!

You can also get 3 month cards too and although they don't save you as much money it's really not that much of a difference and easier to pay off if you can't pay out £104 in one go.

I have left a link to the site where I first inquired about getting mine.

Happy days!

(NHS website)

Nouveau individual eyelash extensions

Hey as promised here is my post on my new beautiful eyelashes put on by the beautiful @HayleyLouise5

I love them and am going to get the infills as soon as I need to!

here are some pictures, I would say enjoy but erm... yeah, dodgy camera but you get the idea, no lashes to luscious, long, eye flickering beauts!

This is a picture of another client Hayley had getting the same treatment

Me before... NON EXISTENT dull lashes!

DRUM ROLL....

The Liebster Award

Good evening!

The lovely Charlotte from Charlotte Marie 11 recently awarded me with the Liebster award! thank you so much Charlotte, I am over the moon you think my blog is worthy to nominate in the first place :) - I have tried to put it into my own words but have brain block today so hope it's not too similar but still gets to the point :p

This award was set up for new bloggers with less than 200 followers to help spread interest and help people network with other bloggers who might not be used to it just yet!

RULES:

• Each person must post 11 facts about themselves
• Answer the questions set by the nominator as well as set up 11 new questions for your own nominees
• Link all nominees to your post
• AND NO TAG BACKS!
• Also make sure you let the nominee know you've chosen them lol

11 THINGS ABOUT ME

1. I am left handed
2. I really, really like McDonald's
3. I have been unemployed for a year now due to my poor health and this sometimes gets me down
4. I am really messy
5. I am allergic to caffeine, it makes my heart race and I get all clammy so I try and avoid it but sometimes a nice cold Coca Cola is just what I need!
6. I have a phobia of not being able to sleep and sometimes it makes me sick!
7. I am a natural blonde but you wouldn't know that because I mess around with my hair so much
8. I studied Beauty, Business and Events Management at college and still don't know what to do with my life
9. My real name isn't Lulu but I have always been called it and I sometimes don't even answer to my real name as I am so unused to it
10. I am an Aquarius so yes, my birthday is coming up every body :)
11. The number 52 follows me around EVERY WHERE! for example my height is 5 ft 2 and my birthday is the 5th of the 2nd... spooky!

THE QUESTIONS GIVEN TO ME BY CHARLOTTE

1. What is your new years resolution?
   It's more of a mantra than a resolution but it's 'Lower your expectations of people and you will lower your dissapointments!' It has been my Blackberry Messenger status since the 1st of January
2. What is your favourite beauty product?
   I don't particularly have favourite beauty products, but I am an Essex girl through and through and never feel dressed on a night out without my Eylure lashes! at the moment I have semi permanent individual ones in so haven't worn any Eylure ones for a while :)
3. What is your favourite clothes store?
   My body is forever changing shape and size and I am not that confident with my figure so I do prefer a big baggy hoodie and some jeans to a fancy dress although if I am comfortable in a dress I feel great.  My hoodies and Jeans are mostly from Hollister and Gilly Hicks, anything fancier I go New Look, Forever 21, Top Shop, Miss Selfridges and I'm a sucker for Primark!
4. Favourite Hair product?
   It will have to be my good old Aussie hair conditioner!
5. Where were you born?
   I was born in Leytonstone East London in Whipps Cross hospital, It's a horrible hospital now!
6. Do you have any pets?
   I have a really fat goldfish called Goldzillar and a Hamster called Peppa
7. Describe yourself in 4 words?
   Honest, Loyal, panicky and weird
8. Favourite TV show?
   At the moment I am totally in love with Vampire Diaries and am eagerly awaiting the return of True Blood too
9. Favourite soap?
   Has to be Eastenders!
10. Where did you spend your Christmas?
    My step sisters, my niece and 2 nephews are at the age where they really understand it now and it was so magical! I bought the eldest nephew a nerf gun and totally regretted it when he woke me up on boxing day by shooting me!
11. Tea or Coffee?
    Well I shouldn't really drink anything with caffeine in it but I'm ok with one weak cup of tea, can't say I am a fan of the smell of coffee!

MY QUESTIONS!

1. What made you first start blogging?
2. What did you want to be when you grew up?
3. What is your favourite thing to eat?
4. What was the last movie you see?
5. Where was the last place you went for a break/holiday?
6. What is your biggest phobia?
7. Name 3 of your pet hates
8. What's the story behind your birth name, for example are you named after anyone?
9. Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?
10. What is the best gift you have ever received?
11. What is your favourite animal and why?

11(ish) BLOGGERS I NOMINATE FOR THE LIEBSTER AWARD

I am so stuck on this! - It just goes to show how hard it is to get noticed on blogger, the majority of people I know with less than 200 are the people Charlotte tagged :p

So I am afraid I only managed to rustle up these 3 wonderful people!  Really sorry it's a poor attempt of 11.

1. Maxi :) - @LittleMissMaxi
   Maxi's Bella Belle blog has to be my favourite out of many people's blogs and she's very close to the 200 mark on GFC so I just managed to include her, her blog is about real life as well a lipstick and I admire someone that doesn't always just do posts about products, I like the way you get to know her a little through her writing.
2. Nicola :) - @NicHeartsThis
   Nicola's NicolaHeartsthis blog is another one I like, I have only just discovered it but wanted to include her for similar reasons to Maxi :)
3. Hollie :) - @holliesblog
   This was one of the first blogs I subscribed to via email, she always has interesting and quirky posts and is such a cutie!

I really wish I could write about 8 more people but I really am not aware of any one else with 200 followers or less!

As you may be aware I do have a list of people who's blogs I recommend as a page (click here) I do plan on adding more but as you know I've been so busy lately!

Don't forget to let me know if you have answered my questions on your own posts in my comments, if anyone wants to be added to this page and fits in with the under 200 criteria I will be more than happy to add you :)

MAKE SURE you follow Charlotte's, Maxi's, Nicola's and Hollie's blogs as well as all the others I recommended on my page.

Thanks again Charlotte! :)

x

OPI Axxium soak-off gels

Hey!

At last a beauty post! last night I had my eyelashes, eyebrows and nails done, it's been a while and my eyebrows where beastly, nails long weirdly rounded and just not manicured to how I would like and my eyelashes where as always non existent.

My next door neighbour and close friend Hayley did them, she's really good and also does those Russian Remi hair extensions, if anyone is interested her twitter is @HayleyLouise5!

I have decided to show you the wonders she worked on my nails in my first post of my new improved look :-)

although I already had long nails I decided to file them down and get the little tips for a nice even line.

These are my nails before, ick! with a bit of filing I suppose I could have had just a natural nail overlay but I thought the tips would look better.

I have used many gel kits not just on myself but on clients etc...  I am not the best at this, much better at waxing ;)

I must say the OPI set does a much better job than any of the others I have had done or used on people.  They aren't all chunky and have an even, sheer finish so look much more natural than what I could create with my cheapo college kit!

Thank you Hayley my nails are all ready for Saturday night :-)

L.Ux

My gentle kick into reality

There is nothing like a New Year to kick you into a reality check and a few days into my 23rd year I've well and truly been kicked!

I've been so depressed and moping around since Christmas because I've felt sick with 'that thing I've got that I never stop talking about' and I really couldn't give a beep what people have to say anymore.

I've had depression on top of everything else for as long as I can remember now.  I am not going to be totally unrealistic and tell you I am proud of having it but I will tell you that I am not ashamed.   I was diagnosed with it at 17 and have never truly shook it off.  Before I was diagnosed I did always think it was something that happens to people in films and programs on the tele... it is real and it does consume you - if you let it.

Sorry if I speak about hospital appointments and being in pain a lot of the time but it is what my life is at the moment! I have a really painful condition, I've wrote about what is going on with my joints a lot but I am not here to have a competition with you about 'my backs badder than your back', I'm here to get it off my chest, I'm not saying it's the hardest thing in the world because it's not, but it's what I'm going through at the moment, who are people to tell me what I can and can't talk about?

I know there is nothing worse than an unhappy person but what can I do lol. I'm in pain all the time sorry my leg isn't decapitated for your entertainment! *inserts pic*

I have decided to nip the cause of pain in the bud. I am steering well clear of Facebook.

I worked out I am forever trying to prove I am happy as Larry to everyone to fit in and that's what is making me depressed.

I am no longer going to pretend to be something I'm not just to please others because when I actually do feel happy that doesn't feel real either!

So, I have decided that it's the right time for a 100% detox of all the bull poopie in my life that I CAN control, this will make the things I can't control such as my illnesses easier to deal with.

I used to look up to so many people as a kid and now I don't even know why? People change and it isn't always for the best, but I am old enough and ugly enough to know when to move on.

So here's to a new me, happier and for that reason alone healthier!

x

Bikini o clock!

Ahh I did something really naughty on Tuesday and went and had a sun bed.  I know it's really bad for you but I craved a holiday and it was the cheapest alternative.

I made a huge mistake by doing 9 minutes, I am burnt to a crisp! I'm really red and I never burn on sunbeds... whoops!

So anyway while I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself I am watching Sun, Sea and Suspicious Parents and am now in a holiday mood, maybe minus the alcohol, sun burn and madness lol

So here are the bikini's I would get if I was actually going lol

I picked them all from Gilly Hicks I got 1 from there for my holiday last year to Egypt and it was my favourite one, these are all from the 'Triangle' range, perfect for boobs not too big yet not so teeny they don't exist :-) they are quite pricey mind, I have always felt terrible splashing out so much money on so little material...

Are any of you off on holiday this year? any ideas on what bikini's you'd get?

L.Ux

2012 July - Sept

July - In July I discovered 50 Shades of Grey.  I love to read books and it was great to break away from the Vampire genre.  I'm sure you all know what it's all about!

Eventually my appointment with the Rheumatology department came along.  I had to prance around in my underwear in front of a doctor, bending this way, bending that way, stretching up, stretching down.  I was super happy that I still had a sun tan but kicking myself for wearing green knickers and a red bra lol.  I don't even know why this thought crossed my mind... I guess I don't prance around in my underwear in front of strange men that often.

I was diagnosed with Joint Hyper Mobility Syndrome, this explained all the weird aches and pains, my IBS, headaches, asthma and even my depression as well as a million and one other things.  I was really happy I had finally got a diagnosis but after learning the ignorance people get towards it as a sufferer I felt really crappy.

My Mum held back some of the horrible facts from me but I ended up finding them out.  Difficulty having babies, sometimes it leaving you wheel chair bound or worse harming the baby as you cannot carry it for the full term.  This hit me the hardest as my dream ever since I can remember was to have my own little family.  I wish I was one of the sufferers that never experienced pain and could just laugh about the fact they were double jointed and could dislocate their joints at ease for a party trick but I wasn't.  He put me on the list for an ultra sound scan and I was left waiting for a new appointment.

Later into July I got my Contraceptive Implant removed from my arm.  The doctors said this could be the cause of all my pains.  I was willing to believe anything so got it out and omg it got stuck and she had to stitch me up because she had to slice me more than normal. Why me?! I have a totally weird scar now lol.

August - August came and went, I was still in pain and no where near finding any sort of pain relief.  Of course with all the pain and sleepless nights I was still out of work.  I was referred to physio and because my GP swore that it was the only thing that would help my HMS I did it.  Writing this now in January 2013 I am still looking for just a light bit of pain relief.  I can't help but feel let down by the NHS.  I know they can't cure something incurable but they could give me just a little bit of support.  I had been out of work at this point well over 6 months and still not entitled to any help.  I'd lost my home because of a lack of money.  I'm not expecting something for nothing but I see people on Jeremy Kyle every day doped up to their ears in drugs and yet myself, a perfectly respectable human with a genuine medical condition is ignored.  Why did I bother working for so long to pay my taxes before I got ill, why did my Mum? why did my Mum's mum? it makes me sick.

I also completely lost track of June.  For some reason I thought I was God Mother to my Dad's, wife's, daughters, son in August so excuse the late picture!

my first night out since May was in August too.  It was only the Slug and Lettuce for my friends now ex boyfriend but it had been a while so I was happy I still had sun kissed skin from Egypt and was also secretly glad the venue had seats!  I had just had all my hair cut off so was feeling really happy in my looks for once in my life!

2012 April - June

April - April the first is my boyfriends mums birthday and she had a party at the same place I had, had my 21st Birthday fancy dress in 2011.

It was a great distraction for what was going on in our life at that moment and Joe was in his element as now we were out of the flat he had some money to spend on booze.  He got ridiculously drunk and he ended up sending me home in a cab on my own.  I was not impressed and he did end up coming with me lol.

 

I'd finally had a break through at the doctors about my aches and pains and had been referred to the Rheumatology Department, my appointment in true NHS fashion was however not until July.  The weather began to get a little better but not much after all I live in England!  However the warm weather I discovered as the year went on helped with my pains.  I started using sun beds again and I don't know why but if I shut my eyes and really, really used my imagination (it doesn't take me much) I felt like I was on a beautiful summers holiday.

I really cannot remember much else about April 2012.  I looked through my camera pictures to jog my memory and I think I took 3 photos in total and one of them was of my nieces thumb as she wanted me to show the world she had a plaster on it lo.

May - May brought some warmerish weather, again nothing spectacular happened this month that was particularly memorable.

We did go to South End for the day with our friends Shaun and Jasmine which was nice, everyone loves a bit of Sea air!

later on in the month my friend Hayley turned 20 and we went to the Essex famous Faces night club!  It was amazing, I hadn't been out like this for so long, I used to love being the center of a party and we were lucky enough to get the same table as the TOWIE lot in their 2nd Series music video, I don't care what anyone thinks or says but we were all really happy when we sat there lol.

here's the annoying music video if you haven't seen it already :p

June - June had to be my favourite month.  We scrimped and scraped together to go on the holiday of a life time.  The heat did me the world of good and I get so depressed knowing I am not waking up there now!

I will let the photos speak for themselves...

Egyptian Spa

Chilling at the water park

Soho Square

Spa time

Sharm El Sheikh, worlds cheapest cocktails!

The pool

We got a McDonald's delivery lol

Charlie Chaplin!

Lilo :)

I got such a bad sunburn on my head!

Reading my book :)

Salty water spa treatment

On the VIP cruise

In my element

snorkelling!

Calm before the storm! or the wave machine...

Me and the boyfriend x

This made me ill lol don't do it if you have asthma!

'I'm on a boat!'

Dinner time :)

Sun bathing!

Looking red on our first night

Quad biking

First day

Lilo fun

Soho Square

:)

No pain = lots of smiles!!!

In the desert

my boobies keeping me afloat!

Egypt was amazing :)