East Enders - everybody's talking about it

While I was in the shower yesterday my thoughts turned to East Enders.  Don't ask why, my life clearly hasn't got enough of it's own drama...

The last episode I see was the one where Alfie proposes to Roxie.

I was just thinking back on their characters history.

Roxie was married to Alfie's ex wife's cousin, Shaun.  So at one point of their lives, Alfie's ex wife Kat and wife-to-be Roxie, even if it wasn't at the same time, both had the surname 'Slater' and were related by marriage.

I then went on to think that the pub Roxie and Alfie live in was the place Roxie's Dad was murdered by Alfie's ex wives other cousin Stacey... who, also used to be Roxie's sister-in-law...

Roxie's sister also stole Alfie's and his ex wives baby after her son (Roxie's nephew) died and brang him up as her own until the guilt got too much.

Roxie also was in a relationship with Alfie's cousin Michael who also happened to impregnate Alfie's wife at the time with the child that Roxie's sister later stole.

Roxie's Dad also raped Roxie's ex sister-in-law in the pub they live in.

Add to the fact Jean lives with Alfie and Roxie who happens to be Roxie's ex mother-in-law and mother of the woman who murdered her Dad but also Alfie's ex Cousin-in-Laws Mother? ooo errrr

FATAL ATTRACTION RIGHT THERE!

So whenever you think life is unfair just think of all the suffering the fictional people of Walford are going through as well as the fact the life expectancy level for Walford is about 23.  Dot Cotton being the one person that comes to mind that hasn't been killed off a 'Spring Chicken,'

A dream about Jayde

I had the strangest dream last night about my friend Jayde.  She was last to talk to me before I fell asleep, we were talking about our futures and so it's her fault I had such a wacky dream he he.

Not sure where we were in the dream but Jayde was telling me all about this medical research company that had approached her, they had offered her £10,000 to take 3 tablets, one pink, one green and one orange with purple dots.

They were researching hairy belly buttons.

Jayde told me how when they first approached her she had said she didn't have a hairy belly button but they went on to say they didn't mind, they wanted someone with just a belly button, hair or no hair and that she was perfect for their research.

Not being a lady to turn down £10,000 she took the tablets a few days before coming to see me.  She then went on to tell me that she had to wait 3 months before she was entitled to the money.

I was a bit worried.  I said to her, why 3 months?  She said she had to wait 3 months because that's how long the side effects will hang about.  I then asked her if she'd had any side effects.  She said no, and said not even a hair in my belly button, she then showed me her belly button and a huge sausage shaped thing appeared like a party animal balloon, right out of her belly button, growing and growing until it got to 18 inches! Jayde panicked and so did I... 

She was like, OMG I can't wear a bikini anymore, I have a sausage growing out of my belly button!

I calmed her down with a wet flannel on her head and we sang Justin Bieber together... LOL

Jayde then decided she still wanted the £10,000 and wouldn't be getting the sausage removed before the 3 months was up.

We then wrapped her sausage round her waist like a belt and accessorized it with vajazzles.

Then I woke up.

Friday's Letters

Dear Readers, It's been a while.  I've been through A LOT and this is the reason for my absence.  Medically, Physically, Mentally, Relationship break downs, Family, 'Frenemies' ... Sorry, I'll try get back into the swing of things but when you're feeling as crappy as I do right now you don't have much drive or inspiration to write.

Dear Jayde, I am so happy you finally have a blog. (@ImJayde's Blog)

Dear Holiday, I wish I was still going on you.  This is the third holiday in a row I have looked forward to and had to cancel, CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE!

Dear Syndol, Please, please, please come back in stock without you I am in pain for weeks on end and do stupid things.

Dear Depression, F%#K OFF! I have not felt this low in ages, I know a lot of sh%t has gone down but MEH!

Dear bad mood, please go away, I am scared you are going to chase the very few people I can rely on away forever :-( I miss being the Lulu that lives in her own little world with fairies and unicorns and debates stupid things in her head to pass the time like 'Do you think the people in EastEnders watch Coronation Street?'

x

xxxx

Friday's Letters

Dear Friday, You're here again, not sure if I am pleased to see you to be perfectly honest! (how crazy is that!)

Dear Spotify, Thanks for keeping me company all week, I think I'd have gone mad without music to listen to... The saying is true when you're happy you do just feel the music and when you're sad you understand the lyrics

Dear Spots, Can you please go and live on someone else's face? I'm 23 not 13

Dear readers, I am now on Bloglovin' so get lovin'

Dear Leather jacket, Please come home, Lulu misses you and if anyone has stolen it or accidentally on purpose forget to let me know they have it and have been wearing it, I will poke you in the eye, hard.

Dear people that get brave behind a keyboard, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND I CAN BE JUST AS INDIRECT, life is to short to beat around the bush, enjoy it, make love not war and if you have got something to say, then say it DIRECTLY :-)

xxxx

Good things come to those who wait

Not done one of these posts since the 28th of April so I thought I would throw one in, I haven't blogged for a while as have been major busy to the point I have to check if my head is still attached to my shoulders...

I've looked at my stats and I'm still getting plenty of traffic on this blog every day so I guess I just want to say thanks for still visiting while I have a little life blip!

Hmm what's happened since my last update, A LOT, some good, some bad...

Still not sure if I am going back to the Nannying, I know in my previous post I said it was my last week, I did think it was - I need to find something more well.. stable and long term.

I had been getting excruciating stomach cramps to the point of passing out early April through to now, went to the doctors and had lots of blood taken (yay) turns out I have Coeliacs disease again, apparently you never grow out of it... Would have been nice to know that lol.  I had it as a kid, so 20 years later it decided to rear it's ugly head again.  SUFFERING TO THE POINT OF TEARS, I really just want McDonald's, like so, so badly.

I have doctors this afternoon again too, really cannot be bothered I just want to be healthy and in a proper job, getting really depressing now!  I'm going to need a wheel barrow to carry all of my medication home, boo!

HMS has not been that bad, I did however dislocate my toe lol and it's not set back properly and I'm too scared to go hospital in case they have to break it or something....

Hayley's 21st is on Saturday, I'm trying to sort music for her but I just don't know if I'm cool enough he he.

Hmm what else... Nothing much at all, I am going away in June.  Bit of sunshine and some time to their self never hurt anybody and after the last few days I think I need some time away from phones, wifi, laptops, etc, you all know the drill, not sure disappearing is going to help any of my problems but it might do me good.  It's going to be hard as anyone who knows me knows I love to talk, talk, talk but meh I'm depressed and need time out.  I have no commitments so I'll do it for myself as well as everyone listening to me moaning all the time :)

How could I forget I dyed my hair? it's still blonde but a lot darker, which is good because as good as bleach blonde looks it's expensive and annoying as hell to keep looking good! (no pictures yet... I've been feeling really self conscious lately)

AHH I also finished the Sookie Stackhouse series, totally gutted, I miss the characters already and I do feel a bit cheated out of friends (as ridiculous as that sounds) REALLY need to stop getting so attached to fictional characters... he he.

In such a bad mood, I just totally bit my Mum's head off 'Your rooms messy and it's dark' WELL YOU WOULD PAINT IT GREY WHEN I MOVED OUT!!!! booooooooooooooooo

Anyway I'll be back to normal posting soon enough, just need a bit of Lulu time.

Happy Thursdays x x x