The S word

It's 21/12/12 and I'm still alive, are you? ;-)

I can't sleep tonight Helico bacter Pylori's fury is keeping me awake and I'm getting more and more anxious at the thought of my hospital appointment tomorrow morning. All I need is to be pulled about when I'm ratty due to lack of sleep!

Why am I so scared of not being able to sleep. Someone hypnotise me please?

Anyway. This hospital appointment I'm fluffing my blog up with by moaning about is completely unrelated to my HPB, this appointments for my other wonderful body defect that also happens to begin with H. Is there any disease or condition that I don't have? - That begins with H anyway... ;-)

My life is so boring at the moment I literally have NOTHING to write home about. Even that saying has depressed me as, there is no need to write home regardless of the lack of rainbows and unicorns in my life as I am stuck there 24/7 feeling sorry for myself anyway, Yay ;-)

2013 is coming soon and I'll be 23 early February. I keep thinking I only have one life and I want to make it count but I do not see a light at the end of this dark, dismal tunnel I've found my self in for what seems like forever. I've forgotten what the sun shine looks like. My emotions are on a constant yo-yo and that's no surprise really as I'm not sleeping or eating much at all.

I love my food and I certainly love my sleep so I'm not functioning as I'd like to at all! Damn you body why do you have to be so un cooperative?

Blogging is my only way to vent all my frustrations about my life at the moment and even that is proving difficult for me. Who wants to read my crazy, self pity rambles?! - I think I just have the biggest desire to let people know what I'm going through. It's so easy to judge people these days and to assume you know what goes on behind closed doors. I know by far my life isn't half as bad as others, as selfish as it sounds that thought alone is what keeps me going.

It's almost 3 o clock in the morning now so actually the 22nd and I'm tap, tap, tapping away on my phone. Someone shoot me with a tranquilliser? P L E A S E?

And the panic has trickled in again. The hospital tomorrow is going to just top the cherry on my tired state of ice cream mind IF... I don't get some sleep soon.

How do you get over phobia's? I literally feel sick at the thought of not being able to sleep. I'm so weird!
I ask myself what will make me feel better... 1) Sleep, 2) Sleep, 3) SLEEP! Ahh!

Well, my stomach has settled ever so slightly so here's attempt 352 of sleep. (Please say I didn't speak to soon, sleep needs to hurry!)

Yet again, the S word! SLEEP!!!

Good night and if you managed to read all of this without falling asleep I think we could be great friends! Lol X

L.Ux

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