Listen to your heart

I feel like a broken record.  Every post I do on here seems to be an apology for not posting for ages.

I have been going through a hell of a lot and the last few months really has made me realise who my real friends are.  Another cliche comment but so, so true.

I won't go into exactly what's been going on as 1. you do not want to read/listen to me moan. 2. It is far too complicated and as much as it helps for me to write about things as a form of release, people can be nasty and I know that it probably won't reach all of the right people and the people that have taken the time to know everything already don't need to know again... ANDDDDD BREATHE.

I hope that made sense, words are coming out of my brain and being typed into this blogger page at a million miles an hour and if I can't make sense of it in my head, God forbid you find it easy to take on board from this post...  

I am trying to be more positive in life but it is hard.  It is a hell of a lot easier to shoot down the people making your life difficult in retaliation to their cruel behaviour.  Especially when you seem to be the only person bothering to be nice and making the effort.

I am also going through a battle in my head about ever sticking up for myself again.  When you don't stick up for yourself you get told, 'They only do it because you're a push over and let them,' but when you do stand up for yourself you get 'It's because you react,'.  Either way people are still nasty and still get away with it.  Either way I am still hurting, either way the nasty ones still seem to come out on top...

I hope that in time, I can just smile and bless the people that make me feel like this!

I am not going to bore you with much more as I can't seem to come up with much more to write about which is probably because I am tired and verrrrrry hungry, this Gluten free diet is killing me! Literally... I crave all the food I can't eat and then I just hit a point where I stuff my face with it then face the consequences... whoops!  Add my dislocating limbs and the fact I cannot get a job and blah!

oh happy days :-)

x