I had the strangest dream last night about my friend Jayde. She was last to talk to me before I fell asleep, we were talking about our futures and so it's her fault I had such a wacky dream he he.
Not sure where we were in the dream but Jayde was telling me all about this medical research company that had approached her, they had offered her £10,000 to take 3 tablets, one pink, one green and one orange with purple dots.
They were researching hairy belly buttons.
Jayde told me how when they first approached her she had said she didn't have a hairy belly button but they went on to say they didn't mind, they wanted someone with just a belly button, hair or no hair and that she was perfect for their research.
Not being a lady to turn down £10,000 she took the tablets a few days before coming to see me. She then went on to tell me that she had to wait 3 months before she was entitled to the money.
I was a bit worried. I said to her, why 3 months? She said she had to wait 3 months because that's how long the side effects will hang about. I then asked her if she'd had any side effects. She said no, and said not even a hair in my belly button, she then showed me her belly button and a huge sausage shaped thing appeared like a party animal balloon, right out of her belly button, growing and growing until it got to 18 inches! Jayde panicked and so did I...
She was like, OMG I can't wear a bikini anymore, I have a sausage growing out of my belly button!
I calmed her down with a wet flannel on her head and we sang Justin Bieber together... LOL
Jayde then decided she still wanted the £10,000 and wouldn't be getting the sausage removed before the 3 months was up.
We then wrapped her sausage round her waist like a belt and accessorized it with vajazzles.
Then I woke up.
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